What You’re Doing Wrong

Probably without realizing it

Inspired by a conversation with Taila, a rising leader I’ve been mentoring through the GRAMMY U program

Sometimes, being a manager feels like treading water.

You’re in constant motion—responding to Slacks, sitting in back-to-back meetings, reviewing work, unblocking your team. You’re doing everything... and yet, things still feel off. Projects stall. People seem confused or disengaged. You start to wonder, Is it me?

Here’s the hard part: It may be you.

You don’t always know what’s missing. But often, the missing piece is clarity. And you can’t give clarity to your team if you can’t create clarity for yourself.

clarity glasses

Clarity isn’t just about communication. It’s about alignment and strategy. It’s how we reduce the invisible friction that slows teams down and chips away at morale, and how we create a common understanding of what the future looks like. However, lack of clarity is rarely intentional.

If you’re a manager (at any stage), here’s what might be going wrong:

1. You think you’re being flexible, but you’re actually being vague.

Saying “let’s see how it goes” or “just use your best judgment” might feel empowering, but without clear goals and constraints, your team ends up guessing.

Instead, try:

“Here’s the outcome we’re aiming for, and here’s how we’ll measure progress. There’s room to shape the path, but this is where we’re headed.”

2. You move fast but don’t bring others along.

You’re adapting. You’re responding to change. But unless you stop and explain the why, your team is solving yesterday’s problem—or worse, losing trust.

Instead, try:

“I know we shifted direction here. Let me walk you through what changed, and how that affects our plan.”

3. You avoid tough feedback to keep things smooth.

It’s human. We don’t want to hurt people or rock the boat. But silence or sugar-coated feedback doesn’t feel supportive. It feels unclear. And unclear feedback is hard to act on.

Instead, try:

“This piece wasn’t quite hitting the mark. Here’s why [insert clear info], and here’s what ‘great’ would look like.”

Also, don’t forget to check for alignment and understanding on the feedback. I have found that we all internalize just a portion of what’s being said.

Real Clarity in Action:

• Kicking off a project with a one-pager: goal, definition of done, key dates, decision-makers.

• Following up after a retro: “Here’s what I heard, here’s what we’ll change, and here’s what we’ll keep.”

• Giving specific praise: “Your ability to simplify complex ideas was a game-changer in that meeting.”

Clarity isn’t control. It’s care.
It’s the difference between guessing and focusing. Between frustration and flow.

If you want your team to thrive, turn the lights on.

I’m curious: Which of these tends to be the “wobbly leg on the stool” for you—expectations, direction, or feedback?


Coming next: The other superpower, Empathy. Why it’s not about being “nice” (and what real empathy looks like in action).